WHAT DO YOU CALL PEOPLE WHO SHOP AT WALMART?

There are some things
you can never unsee..

We've all seen those pictures of Wal-Mart shoppers that have been making the rounds on the internet for a couple of years, right? Those snapshots of grotesquely clad (or unclad in some cases) people with inappropriate tattoos, weirder than weird hairdos, men in baby-doll pajamas and the like. There are websites devoted to this stuff, folks. In addition to the strange shoppers, let's not forget the long line-ups at the check out, followed by those disgruntled employees you meet at the check-out, and not a single person in sight to help if you should need assistance maneuvering around. No wonder some of us would rather have root canal sans anesthetic than go there.

Personally, I prefer to avoid WalMart at all costs. Despite the apparent savings to be had I'll shop at Metro or SuperStore and pay a few extra cents or bucks for groceries. If I'm looking for inexpensive clothing to be worn while walking my dogs I'll opt for Joe Fresh any day rather than head next door to WalMart. My husband, Erik, well that's a different story. He doesn't just dislike the store, he has a positive fear of entering their sliding doors. It starts with the greeter, a sad old retiree who everyone ignores to the ever-present display of sickly and calorie laden cinnamon buns piled high against one wall to the huge crush of people fighting for carts. All of it gives him the heeby jeebies. You can imagine then how unprepared I was when he came to me and suggested we go to WalMart. What? On purpose, intentionally, and with pre-thought?  He wants to enter those terrifying sliding doors to the inner-sanctum of fear and frustration? This is serious, folks, he must have a pretty darned good reason to even consider spending time in WalMart.

Well, it turns out he did have a reason - he had a darned good reason. We needed stuff for the Fifth-wheel. He's a man who dives in when he undertakes any new project and this RVing is a new project. He doesn't scrimp and save and try to cut corners or make do. Nope. If you are going to be living in an RV for six months then that RV will have as many of the comforts of home as possible. The dishes, glasses and cutlery borrowed from the house needed to be replaced by something more permanent and unbreakable and new and it appeared WalMart just may have what we needed. There may even be substantial savings involved. He was armed with information in the form of 2 of the 3,000 or so flyers we get stuffed into our mailbox every Thursday and had even done a solitary reconnaissance to both Canadian Tire and SuperStore.

A plan was formulated:  make a quick trip to Canadian Tire and SuperStore, check their stock, pick our favourite patterns, jot down prices then tackle WalMart; both of us, together, in tandem. He was NOT going to WalMart alone. Clutching our list of prices and summoning his courage, off we went to WalMart. We parked our honking, great truck in the huge and overcrowded parking lot, and remarked on the Fifth-wheel that appeared to be using the parking lot as a camping ground. Through the sliding doors we went, ignoring the retiree greeter, not looking at the 45 foot display of baked goods, not veering left or right, we made a bee-line for House Wares. We didn't even stop to investigate the 30,000 DVDs that were piled high in a prominently displayed bin and marked with a yellow smiley face 10 for $2.00.


Holy mackerel, what an amazing display of House Wares. Do you have any idea how many different patterns Corning Ware makes in dinner ware? Did you know there were other brands? I didn't. After carefully (and quickly) perusing all that was on offer, we opted for a Corelle pattern  - cute, colourful and kind of funky - just what you need when you are on an adventure. Not only was it vastly less expensive than the other stores those other stores didn't even have that cute pattern. Next on the list - glassware. Not being a fan of plastic glasses (there's an oxymoron for you) I was happy happy happy to see they carried a style of plastic glasses that was thin and actually looked like the real thing. Bingo. Four red wine glasses, four white wine glasses and, oh yes, four water/milk/whatever glasses. Amazing. This was taking no time at all. Next - cutlery. Loads of it. WalMart did not disappoint in the cutlery department either. When buying every day cutlery, the test for me is to see if the teaspoon bends easily. If it does, you don't want to buy it. Down the aisle we went, bending or not bending teaspoons until we found a set to our liking with tough, unbendable teaspoons. Cutlery, (plastic)  glasses, dishes, whoosh, were all selected within a matter of minutes and carried to the checkout  Getting out of the store, well that's a different matter. People who shop at WalMart seem to be obsessive shoppers, in my completely unscientific opinion. I haven't done a survey, I am just basing this opinion on my one venture into the store that day when everyone else had carts that were positively overflowing with stuff. Even the self-checkout lines were full of people whose carts were brimming over.

We weren't in any hurry to be anywhere, we had no urgent business or meetings awaiting us, no, we just wanted out of there. We patiently waited for everything to be scanned and bagged and off we went, passing the ever present greeter, passing the tired shoppers taking a break at Timmies, passing the pastry display and out the sliding doors to freedom. We did note the RV was still parked in the lot and the owners appeared to be setting up for a late lunch or perhaps an early dinner.

So....what DO you call people who shop at WalMart? I guess you can call them whatever you like but whatever you choose to call them I guess now you will have to include us in their ranks. Would we be back another day to shop at WalMart?  Hmmmm.  It's possible.  They really do have a selection far greater than any other store here, the prices are probably quite a bit better than most and there's a certain entertainment value. One thing we won't be doing though, we won't be parking our Fifth-wheel in their parking lot any time soon.

NOTE, no WalMart shoppers or employees were harmed during our shopping expedition.